The Healing Power of Positive Words (Exodus 34:29-35; 2 Corinthians 3:12-4:2; Luke 9:28-36[37-43a])
Listen.February 14th, 2010
Rev. Dr. Craig A. Wagner
Introduction
Remember the old rhyme, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me?” This rhyme was used lots when we were children playing during recess at school. However, when we think about this little rhyme, we understand that it really isn’t true – yes sticks and stones can hurt us physically, but words can hurt us emotionally. They can do us great harm; they have power!
Just think about how words can really be hurtful; how they can bring a death of sorts into the life of an individual. When someone says to you, “You can’t do anything right.” “It’s all your fault.” “You’re ugly! “You’re stupid.” “That idea is ridiculous.” “You’re incompetent.” And so on the insults go carving up someone’s self-worth until they feel dead, depressed and certainly abused. Words can harm. Words have power.
Words can also bring hope, new life and even purpose into someone’s life. Good kind words can be all the difference in a person’s life. Just think of these uplifting words: “I believe in you.” “You can do it.” “You’ve got what it takes.” “You’re a winner.” “I care about you.” “Your ideas are great!” “I appreciate what you’re doing.” And with these kinds of words, people are built up and encouraged in life. Words can build up a person. Words have power.
As we think about words today, we take our references from the book of Proverbs. The book of Proverbs historically was thought to be the work of Solomon because he was known to have been a wise king. Most scholars believe that this book is a collection of sayings gathered over a large period of time, but reflects the wisdom of Solomon.
The five books, Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and the Song of Solomon are poetic in nature and are referred to as wisdom literature. These books provide valuable insight into how a faithful person is to live. This morning we consider the importance of our words. We’re not going to be concerned with the lasting problems that have developed in our lives from someone calling us names on the play-ground, however, we are going to consider how the words we use affect others. Do our words to others bring about death or life in a person’s life?
Control your impulses and speak wisely
It’s often difficult to control our impulses when dealing with other people. Often we react to words or ideas that other people set forth in a response that is so quick, we never realize what we’re saying or what effect the words will have. Proverbs remind us that reckless words can pierce like a sword. Reckless words can wound people, hurt people, and cause damage in the life of someone. Reckless words are words that are spoken without thought.
These reckless words are often spoken when we are tired, feel put upon, when we’re ill or just simply fed up with things going on in our life. It’s like a father who is working on a home improvement project. His little son is helping him. After some time, the father needs a certain tool that he left out in the garage in the tool box. He sends his son after it. The little boy runs to the garage and soon returns empty handed. Without thinking and being overly tired, the father barks out: “What is wrong with you, can’t you find anything?” Reckless words damage the boys feeling of self-worth and his attempts to help his father and to please his father are minimized.
Wise words are like a bandage; they seek to heal, help and bring a sense of self-worth. Wise words are words that are carefully chosen and directed at the people who need to hear them. These carefully chosen words are spoken from the heart and reflect God’s perspective on a situation.
The mythical dad with the home improvement project could have said to his young son when he came back empty-handed, “Know what? That tool was probably misplaced, let’s go look for it together.” Kind words what would help build up the young boy and make him feel good, rather than reckless words that put down a person.
Are our words reckless or healing? If you’re like me, they are probably a little of both. Often when we’re tired, not thinking clearly, overly busy and distracted, our words have a tendency to be said without thought as to the effects. There are times when all of us speak without thinking – that’s when we get into trouble; and perhaps cause dissension and strife in relationships. Off hand remarks, insensitive jokes are not always appropriate and we need to watch our words.
When we speak from the heart and reflect God’s presence and love, then words can be like a healing ointment and can help encourage and boost the other person. Yes, I know today is Valentine’s Day, yet many of the verses on the cards do not adequately reflect our feelings – so much better is a heart word spoken that is of God. We need to control our impulses and speak wisely.
Conquer your bitterness and speak kindly
When relationships become strained and we would rather avoid the other person, bitterness begins to invade our attitude toward others and that bitterness can be felt in our words to them. A deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. These are words that are bitter; lying words, filthy language, cutting words, in fact all words that put down a person, crushing them and destroying their spirit.
Deceitful words can permanently cripple the other person. Just think back to people on that playground calling you names, or someone more recently looking you right in the face and lying to you. Think about the last time someone spoke to you using filthy language and yelling about what you had done – perhaps this was through a car window when you were going the speed limit but the person behind you wanted to get around you….the red faced look and the words mouthed in the window betrayed his, or her anger. How did you feel? Cutting words spoken out of bitterness cripple.
But as God’s people we are to speak kind words in all situations. Kind words are gentle words. These are peaceful words – words that speak the truth in love. These are words that are meant to build up the other person’s feelings and help the other person to heal a bruised ego. A subtle tongue is like a tree of life.
We all know that when we are having a bad day, a few kind words from people we respect do wonders for our ego, our sense of purpose and our character. We need to be people that speak kind words to others and get rid of bitterness that comes out of foolish hearts.
When bitter and complaining words come from our mouth they reflect a self-centeredness that shows itself by demeaning others. Bitter words come from a bitter life and from a person that is often consumed in a self-centered world. God calls us to get rid of bitterness, anger, and rage in our words and in our hearts because these things crush others and hatred endures. Hatred has a staying power that is truly tenacious. We can overcome our bitterness and anger and hatred as we pray for others, as we forgive them as we have been forgiven; yes, even the one’s who hurt us! Even the ones who question our competence, spread rumors about us; we need to pray for them and forgive them in Jesus’ name. Then our words become kinder and gentler.
Correct your attitude and speak positively
Did you know that in Solomon’s day there was no milk chocolate or processed sugar? How difficult would that be for many of us? How difficult for our children who crave sweets and candy bars! What would you get on Halloween? They may not have had milk chocolate, but they knew the sweetness of honey. It was a sweet treat and also brought healing to the body. Honey is referred to in scripture as a good thing – a land flowing with milk and honey.
When our words are spoken in a positive message and manner they are sweet to the soul. They sooth the person; a positive message can help repair a damaged relationship and encourage another person. But these positive words are reflective of the correct attitude in a person’s heart. The person of God has the attitude of God in their heart and that attitude will show forth in the way they encourage others.
It is interesting that when we eat something sweet, like a cookie or have a cup of hot chocolate, we feel good and all seems to be right with the world (if we are chocolate lovers). But if we are given something that tastes bad we would ask “Why are you giving me this? Do you want to kill me?” Bad words, negative words kill and are destructive. Good words, positive words build up, encourage and bring new life into a person’s life. Good words are like honey – they are sweet to hear. And they are heartfelt. We know there are those who speak words that are like artificial sweeteners; like saccharine or some other product; the words sound sweet and good, but the attitude is not one of God; they are false and adept at lying. They will say one thing to your face and another behind your back!
We need to examine our words carefully; we need to examine our attitudes carefully. Where our attitudes are not of God we pray that the spirit would do some heart surgery on us so that we may become more Christ like in our words and in our ways. And then we need to consider our words – which in reality reflect what is in our heart. Are they words that encourage, support and bring life into others lives?
Conclusion
Think of a scale of justice. The fulcrum is in the middle. In the past day, or week, place on one side all the bad words, the bad attitudes, the bitterness that you have reflected to others- then on the other side, place the good words, the wise words, the words of encourage, healing and love, those spoken positively – which side is greater? Perhaps we need a change in heart and renewal that God offers in Jesus so that this week, the scale will be reversed and the love of Jesus reflected in all of our relationships. God help us. Amen.